kiralamouse | I am going to die.

Anyway, from the past twelve hours or so, I've been running various tips on how to procrastinate while convincing yourself you're being productive as my away messages on AIM. As an act of faith, I hereby post the compiled results in the faith that I will not be distracted by composing away messages again til I'm done with this #($&# project. Understand that these were copy/pasted onto Word and then again into the LJ, so they might be a bit choppy.

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Productive Procrastination Technique #1: Take that much-needed shower. Draw it out into an hour and a half long spa experience. Then decide on the perfect outfit for pulling an all-nighter. These things are important, you know.
(Stay Tuned for More Productive Procrastination Tips)
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Productive Procrastination Tip #2: Leave a different, original, at least quasi-creative away message as penance every time you succumb to the temptation to send an IM when you ought to be studying.

A haiku:
Authors who slyly
Slip humor into footnotes
Deserve great rewards.

(Stay tuned for More Productive Procrastination Tips!)
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Productive Procrastination Tip #3: Make dinner. Enjoy it. Clean up quite thoroughly, then make sure everything else is as spic-and-span as it can be. Every dish. Every surface. And while you're at it, you never DID do your spring cleaning this year, did you? This could be a good time to take care of that.
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Productive Procrastination Technique #4: Take a moment to write the paper the way you want to write it, i.e. telling the professor in detail why you do not want to write it. This is an important stress-reliever and should be done as often as possible. It will magically cause the paper to write itself on a hidden document which will replace your rant upon being saved and printed.

Stay tuned for more Productive Procrastination Tips! We're not wasting time, we're just switching tasks for a bit...
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Productive Procrastination Tip #5: You know, you'd really function much better with a fifth or sixth nap. Four or five just don't cut it.
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Productive Procrastination Technique #6: It's the middle of the night, your concentration is flagging and the naps seem to be oddly distracting. You need stimulating Internet discussion and/or debate, either via IM, chat room, or message board.
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Or LJ. And now I'm getting OFF.