kiralamouse | Very Long Philosophical Entry

My Bible study is doing some really cool stuff lately, and tonight's really hit me. It's talking about stages of Christianity, and it's really nice to know I'm not the only one who doesn't stay on an A-style high. This is long, but quite worth it. Stuff in italics is quoted from John Newton (guy who wrote Amazing Grace), and I wish I could remember who to credit for the rest, but unfortunately can't. Here goes...

Stage A: The "Baby" Christian

His Problem:
A new Christian feels God's grace and love, but still does not understand it very well. "A" is not without knowledge, but this state is more usually remarkable for the warmth and liveliness of the affections (feelings and experience). Therefore, "though the new convert is convinced of the Power of Jesus to save him, through remaining ignorance and legality (moralism)...he fears lest the compassionate Savior should spurn him from his feet." Baby Christians tend to base their justification on their sanctification (rather than vice versa). In other words, they take their confidence that God loves them from their avoidance of major sins, their faithfulness in prayer and growth in Christian knowledge, and especially in their feelings of nearness to God. All these things serve as the basis for their certainty God loves them instead of the result of their certainty their God loves them. Because of this, there is (a) an anxiety (Does God really love me?) and yet (b) a pride (I've come to God because of my spiritual insight and depth) that leads to instability. Baby Christians cannot take negative (a)feelings or (b)life circumstances (trials, sufferings) or (c)spiritual regress (sins, failures), because their feelings and circumstances and success have really functioned as the "merit-cause", the basis of their favor with God.

Gospel application:
At some point, the A's "honeymoon" will be over, because there will be negative feelings, circumstances, or spiritual failures. When these come, there are two things that can happen. One is that the "A" gets locked into an endless round of playing "wish I were a better Christian". Feeling guilty and anxious and inferior, they pull back into very light input activity (prayer and Bible study) and output activity (fellowship and ministry). Their Christianity becomes cold. Then they have periodic seasons of "rededication" in which they make resolutions and set new goals. But eventually they will fail and go back into an anxious pull-back mode. The alternative course is ofr the gospel to be applied. Baby Christians are told that negative experiences are extremely important for their growth. "By these changing dispensations, the Lord is training him up and bringing him forward." What is the goal? "If he could but attain a sure and abiding sense of his acceptance in the Beloved hardly any outward trial would be capable of giving him much disturbance." So God will (in Stage B) find ways to shake the remaining legalism out of him or her. The new convert will eventually find, "the spirit of bondage is gradually departing from him, and the hour of liberty, which he longs for, is approaching, when, by a farther discovery of the glorious Gospel, it shall be given him to know his acceptance, and to rest upon the Lord's finished salvation."

In summary: Persons are moving into "B" when they have the normal negatives of feelings, failures, and circumstances which do not throw them into passive Christianity, but they know the gospel enough to be actively seeking both to grow and serve Christ through these ups and downs.

Stage B: "Youth" Christian

His Problems:
God lets us pass through "the negatives" in order to show us what we really rest in. This is the source of all spiritual problems. What is the ground of our assurance that we are acceptable to God, ourselves, and others? Christians say it is "only because of Jesus" but in our actual daily lives, we functionally rest in other things - our spiritual attainments, our morality, our relationships in church and family, the approval of others, and so on. An immature Christian has repented only of more superficial behavioral sins, but has not yet repented of the more rooted and influential sins - our false "rests". "This state [a B stage Christian] is one where the soul, after an interchange of hopes and fears, according to the different frames [difficulties] it passes through, is brought to rest in Jesus, by a spiritual apprehension of His complete suitableness and sufficiency, as the wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption of all who trust in him..."

During "B", a Chrsitian will often feel like a much more sinful person than he or she did in stage A but this is a sign of progress. "The abominations of the heart do not appear in their full strength and aggravation [except]in the case of one who, like "B", has tasted that the Lord is gracious and rejoiced in his salvation." In other words, we cannot emotionally stand to see our sin unless our consciences are at least somewhat supported by an understanding of justification by grace alone. Without the gospel, a knowledge of how selfish and sinful our hearts are would be too traumatic - we would simply deny it.

Gospel application:
As in Stage A, a Stage B Christian can also go one of two ways. Some B Christians learn enough of the gospel to overcome the routine "negatives" and move through them. But often more major disappointments and sorrows and failure may come. Some B Christians find their relationship with God seriously disrupted. Either they get (a) bitter at God, for failing them in some way, or (b) bitter at themselves for failing God in some way. (Or both!) But if we examine it, we see that both of these responses come from works-righteousness. If we feel we are living up to our duties, and "negatives" strike, then we will be mad at God (and the church, etc.). But if we feel we are not living up, and "negatives" strike, then we will be mad at ourselves. Either way, there can be major blockage of fellowship with God.Some people drop out of church - but since they are really converted, they stay in a miserable "twilight zone". Others struggle with anger and discouragement in major ways. A sense of their sin may overwhelm them.

Stage B Christians need the application of the gospel. One key is that they must focus less on behavioral sins and identify the deeper motives. "Occasions to try our spirits... [show us that] we are prone to spiritual pride, to self-dependence, to vain confidence, to [over] attachments to [created things]." In other words, B Christians come to see that the source of anger, pride, insecurity has to do wiht over-attachments to some things which serve as our real salvation and therefore exercise control over us. Anger, selfishness, fear, hostility occur when these things are being lost or threatened. This humbles us to see that much of our pain is due to our self-righteousness.

In summary: Persons are moving into C when they know the gospel enough that a deeper discovery of their sins drives them not away from God (as it did when they functioned more out of works-righteousness) but toward God and toward deeper enjoyment of his grace. A close friend of John Newton was the hymn writer William Cowper, who explains a B experience perfectly.

Oh! for a closer walk with God,
A calm and heavenly frame;
A light to shine upon the road
That leads me to the Lamb!

Where is the blessedness I knew
When first I saw the Lord?
Where is the soul-refreshing view
Of Jesus and his word?

What peaceful hours I once enjoyed!
How sweet their memory still!
But they have left an aching void
The world can never fill.

Return, O holy Dove, return,
Sweet messenger of rest;
I hate the sins that made thee mourn,
And drove thee from my breast.

The dearest idol I have known,
Whatever that idol be,
Help me to tear it from thy throne,
And worship only Thee.

So shall my walk be close with God,
Calm and serene my frame;
So purer light shall mark the road
That leads me to the Lamb.
*************************************************************************

This is me again; I'm stopping before a C-level Christian because I know I'm at B-level at best, and was mostly interested in typing up the parts that struck a chord with my more recent experience. For the same reason, I skipped the Non-Christian and Seeker stages. There is one quote from the Non-Christian section, though, that I find extremely applicable. "All other analysis divides people into 'good' and 'bad', but the gospel divides people into 'humble' (those who admit they are hopelessly lost) and 'proud' (those who believe they are not)".

Thought-provoking. And very reassuring to me, to know I'm not the only one who has extreme "spiritual mood swings." Nor am I the only one to first be dealing with the depths of my sinfulness years after my conversion...

And that's all for tonight, folks.