Finish the shortest HP fanfic ever!

[kiralamouse]

Once upon a time a [insert horrible death/fate worse than death here] overtook Dolores Umbridge, and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

Comments

[trevel.livejournal.com]

*sniffs* It's beautiful, Kir. Simply beautiful.

Although, to be honest, I still prefer a tale of redemption to revenge.

Once upon a time, Dolores Umbridge took a good look in the mirror and burst into tears. "I've been so wrong!" she said, tearing off her Ministry of Ministering badge and casting it aside. "So very, very wrong."

And for a moment, the stars seemed to shine brighter. Voldemort turned away from them, as if in pain, and went back to plotting evil.

[kiralamouse]

If she seemed like a human being, I might desire redemption. However, she's one of the few characters in HP who strikes me as pure stock: the embodiment of Bureaucracy.

Must. Dieeeeee.

[trevel.livejournal.com]

I can't really get proper satisfaction from her death, though. She believed she was on the side of "good", though. Not the same Good that the others worry about, but the side of Things Working Properly. Harry was disrupting this, with all his worry about Voldemort and such; so, she was trying to Straighten Things Out.

I think she needs to realize that she was serving the cause of evil.

I think she needs to realize that she can't reconcile her acts with her goals; that she can't achieve her goals by following her goals in the way she has all her life. That she's put lie to her own beliefs.

And then, when she's realized that, she should jump off a bridge.

[kiralamouse]

What story is it where the villian is punished by having their conscience reinstalled? Wait, that's a couple stories...

Given what ought to be on Umbridge's conscience, that should be a fate worse than death.

[trevel.livejournal.com]

I could deal with some sort of redemption thing where Dolores kills herself in a sacrifice that allows Sirius to return -- an attempt to redeem herself from the horror that she is.

Granted it would make no sense, but I don't think that's really the goal here, is it?

[kiralamouse]

Hey, I said shortest fanfic, not happiest. :) I like JJ's solution, though.

My entry for the Shortest Fanfic:

[trevel.livejournal.com]

Once upon a time, some people connected with Harry Potter made out, making no attempt to remain canon. The end.